please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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