i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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