i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
