I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize