Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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