i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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