She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
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Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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