You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
