is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
