Can Purell be used as lube?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
