At least make sure they are 18
Why
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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