before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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