I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
