Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
