I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
