Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
