Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
