check it out our google latitudes are spooning
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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