We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize