Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
