if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
