I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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