Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
