We're like a lot better than the average bears
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
