I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
