nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
