Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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