You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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