you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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