Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
