do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
