dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
