She's JV to your varsity
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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