i think i have two assholes
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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