Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
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Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
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We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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