so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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