K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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