Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
