he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
