that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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