If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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