Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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