There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize