I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
