if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
