i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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