I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize