I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
