he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
