I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
