Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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