She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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