Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
