your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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