Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
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He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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