i just wanna soil my oats bro
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
