if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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