Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????