these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.