put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes