I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.