you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire