You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize