Whoa Z and x make the same sound
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
