Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
